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[07 May 2005|01:30pm] |
The Keys to Your Heart
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You are attracted to good manners and elegance. |
In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. |
You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. |
You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. |
Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. |
Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. |
You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. |
In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered. |
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[04 May 2005|08:36am] |
Hmm, I'm basically just posting this to see whether anyone still reads my old LJ.
I may start using it again, not sure. I guess I could use the one I used that Hitori could see.
Meh.
I might go post there now actually, since noone can read it and I just want to rant to myself.
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| Stuff...Just Stuff... |
[04 Feb 2005|09:55pm] |
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music |
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Queen - Complete Live Aid Set |
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Ok, well, I might get a new LJ soon, too many people know this link, but I'll just see how long it takes for people to notice this post to figure whether it's worth it or not.
Basically I've just been happy/sad alternately for a few weeks now. It's not even normal hormone type issues :/ It's like, one night I was annoyed because I couldn't find anywhere showing rocky horror nearer than newcastle, and the next night a friend called Switch (ok..Olly...but his parents clearly shoulda called him Switch :p ) told me he found out it was playing in the theatre near him, so I arranged to go stay with him for half of half term. And the day after that Mr Seager (cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt) took me aside and basically told me I was too shit to do accelerated maths (whole A2 in one year so I can do further maths in yr 13) and I just broke down crying, I hate that, I hate crying, but I just couldn't help it. Maths has always been my favourite subject, my best subject even, and here I was being told I couldn't do what I'd wanted to do since yr 9. He was being stupid though, I mean, he told me not to go to maths while they were sorting it out and finding out whether I could stay in my class, talking to head of year etc, but he wanted me to copy up...it was just like "right...because THAT makes sense *rolls eyes*".
Anyway, that's all sorted, so I come home all happy I can go back to maths etc, and John finds out I'm going to see rocky horror with Switch, and just before that, he said "ooh, half term for you soon, you can come stay here" and I made up something bout coursework because it wasn't confirmed or anything with my parents that I could go stay with Switch. Anyway, john is pissed off because a) I lied, b) I'm going to stay with switch, who has rather a, er, reputation, and c) I'm going to see rocky horror without him.
That's enough ranting for now I think..
oh...and ebay is evil :p
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| yay...my life = sucky |
[24 Nov 2004|01:46am] |
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mood |
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 melancholy |
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How great, I finally meet people I actally feel I can talk to and get on with etc...prob is they live kinda far away so only get to see at lans. Other prob is one of em at least feels they can't talk to me around my boys, which is fair enough due to his paranoia about everything and everyone to do with me. So I decided to go to this lan without my boyf, I tell boyf I'm going to said lan, which was prob a stupid idea but I'm not particularly in the habit of keeping secrets from him... and he basically goes on for literally days about how I won't take weekend off work to spend time with him, but will to go to a lan with people I hardly know. Which I guess is a fair point, but just because he doesn't seem to like any of the people he has to live with due to uni he seems to feel that I have no life either apart from waiting for him to ask me to come up and see him. It isn't fair. So basically I just got stuck between a guy I hardly know but got on great with and my boyf, who I love, but doesn't seem to trust me or anything.
I don't even know where I'm going with this anymore except I don't know what to do...and I completely blame talking online for this, we've been arguing so much lately, and it just seems so much worse over msn and irc etc :'(
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| Anyone Care To Inform Me What I've Done? |
[19 Nov 2004|11:37pm] |
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mood |
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 depressed |
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Well, so far tonight I've been basically abandoned by two people I
thought were my friends.
At least one is giving me a chance to ask what I've done wrong, the
other basically said "I don't feel like talking to you atm" then
blocked me. I just don't understand what I've done.
So y'know, if anyone outta all the people who DON'T read this has any
idea I'd be grateful to hear it.
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[28 Jul 2004|11:29pm] |
Meh, i'm really depressed atm for some reason, i mean, i know vaguely why but i don't know why i'm this depressed cos of it. I never would have cried bout stuff before...
Basically i'm just being possessive over john, like when i was away in france and he went out with my mates and i just felt so jealous of them, i've never felt jealousy before, it was weird. And now it's more than that, because i'm working atm he's hanging round with my "best friend" (who i don't even know if i'm still best friends with any more) and my brother. It just seems to unfair. No idea why, they have the same right to see him as anyone else but at the same time as I feel jealous of them cos they get to see John more than me I can feel my relationship with my best friend slipping away, we used to be so close, and now whenever i see her it's always with john cos we always go out as a group and he seems to talk to her more than I do.
I mean, yea sure, there were phases where she really pissed me off but most of the time i really liked her and now our friendship's crumbling just like that and i feel so helpless.
And besides that i always feel like one day John'll wake up and think "what the fuck was i on? she doesnt deserve me" and leave me, and even though i know that even if that does happen i should be happy for the time we are together, i can't stop myself from thinking bout it and getting all depressed again. :/
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[19 Jun 2004|12:49am] |
Why is it that whenever I don't wanna talk bout something there Rhian is constantly asking if I wanna talk about it, but if there's something i do wanna talk about it seems there's noone to discuss it with? I guess that's why people write diaries, sometimes it seems like I'm one of the only people I get sensible advice from. Who knows? Maybe this'll turn into a diary as opposed to some update once a blue moon LJ.
Anyway, basically I just completely fucked up CJ's bnc, yes, my one responsibilty that made me a crouchjump admin I just fucked up. Now i'm relying on John to get it back up cos he won't let me touch the thing even though I'm the official bnc person. I am now partaking in one of the biggest myths about technology, that girls are useless at it and in the end all have to rely on their boyfriends to do it for them. I don't think John knows how it's making me feel, but to be honest I'm literally crying, as quietly as i can so my rents don't wake up, but crying nonetheless. I just feel so useless, all i have to do is add users and change passwords and i managed to break it. But I can't tell him, dunno why, I just can't. So I'm just gonna have to suffer in silence till he either fixes it or does what I was gonna do in the first place before he told me not to touch it and deletes it and recompiles it.
Wow, my first LJ post with actual emotion in it, thank god noone hardly ever reads this thing.
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| I'm past half way through my exams! |
[17 Jun 2004|10:02am] |
Go Me! i've survived about 13 exams or something like that meaning i only have..erm...round about 5/6 left? Something like that anyway...but I'm pretty sure I'm past half way! :P
I don't even know what I have left, I think I've finished English, no more tech either, no more maths till next year (Which i think is a shame...but i'm just weird :P), done all the biology, and all the french. Coincidentally there was apparently a mistake in the french reading yesterday...according to robert amey anyway...but he's kinda weird...:P
Anyway, i think i should survive the rest of the exams...and then it's off to the lan! should be loadsa fun, specially when i get carted off by the police for running away from home! :D
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[22 May 2004|01:32pm] |
well...i love exams...study leave rules...tbh though I have only had one exam so far...and I think they're just easing us in gently by giving us the french listening first :p
I have 2 exams next week...should prob revise..especially for music..but dunno what happened to my music revision guide...whoops :p
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| Revision...whassat? |
[15 Apr 2004|04:47pm] |
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Well...here I am..nearing the end of the holidays in which i swore to myself that I would revise...and I haven't even looked at a book except a rough book from year 9 that I found while looking for a phone plug thing. Turned out we only have one so now i need to get an extension cable...anyway...there's what? about 3 weeks or something til GCSEs start...next week I have a french oral and week after I have music practical..and how much have I done? Still trying to finish coursework ffs. I'm so gonna fail...but...at least if i fail a few exams it won't stop me going to uni in a few years unlike John. Who's pretty much in the same positin cept with A levels rather than GCSEs making it a lot more serious...fuck procrastinatingness...which is of course blatantly a word *coughcough*. Anyway...cba to carry on about how i'm not revising...not gonna make me revise any more than i am atm...so i'll shut up now :p
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[13 Mar 2004|09:31pm] |
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mood |
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 lonely |
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music |
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My entire winamp playlist - it took me more than one song! |
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found this in Igtica's (from WOTR) LJ....quite fun...i guess....really random though :p
there's prob gonna be loadsa quiz's and stuff in this update since this is the first time i read her LJ so i'll do all the quiz's she's done...
Ooh...i'm a magical unicorn...excitement!
Your a magical unicorn! As all unicorns go, magic
unicorns are amazing with enchantments and can
perform spells and all kind of crafts. Magic
Unicorns have horns that if drank from can cure
blindness, and give immortality. All magical
unicorns are very kind and heart-warming, but
can get tempermental if a spell goes wrong.
Magical Unicorns live in forests where they can
practise all there magic in secret. But, if a
human befreinds a magical unicorn, they have a
friend for life.
What kind of Unicorn are you? (With beautiful pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla
ok....this quiz is mainly for John i guess..i mean..he's the one who own a FF tshirt..and there's the small fact that I've never actually played a FF game...oh well...i'm paine...whoever the hell that is...
Paine
Which Final Fantasy X-2 character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Cool..I'm a vampyre-ish angel!
Ok. You are one hell of an angel. You are a
vampirish angel. You murder in the night, and
are quite proud of your achievements. You have
a naturally blood thirsty and malevolent mind.
But that's just you. You are dark and powerful,
if a little blood thirsty. You are both and
angel and a vampire. But you will never be
either. You feed from the innocent, and glide
away from the world of mortals. You are unique,
and have a gift for poetry. You are
manipulative, and are cunning and quick minded.
You are a sharp person. One that should never
be under estimated, and if you are, that person
will be your next feed. Congrats. You are
certainly original. Extremely rare and one of a
kind.
Dark Purple Well, well arent we the sarcastic
type? You have a very witty mind thats filled
with artistic, observant, and intelligent
thoughts. You think a lot about nothing dont
you? Its ok to think about nothing, because
when you think about nothing, interesting
thoughts occur. Youre deep too, which is
surprising because, like I said. Youre witty
and sarcastic. Go You (rate me)
What color is your mind? (Anime Pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla
i agree with everything cept the "artistic" part...since when was my mind artistic...c'mon...since when was any part of me artistic?!
ok....now i'm just being odd...i've seen what? about one ep of card captors a few years ago..yet i did the quiz...
your mailin
!!!what cardcaptors character r u !!!
brought to you by Quizilla
ok....i've reverted back to topics i know about...dragons...i'm an ice dragon apparently...
Your an ice dragon! Congrats! Out of all the
dragons, you are most powerful but do not like
to show it. A rare and special creture, you
have artistic style and are great at expressing
yourself. You think friends and Familly are the
most important, and are a hopeless romantic.
But of course, as ice goes, you can be a little
cold or harsh at times. But not to worry, you
always apoligize later!
What elemental dragon are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
ok..back to psycho-ness...at least it seems to claim i'm psycho..
You belong beyond the claim of all humanity. Though
here, you are emotionally dead to the world and
nothing here has any bearing on you, good or
bad. You feel nothing and are simply waiting on
the end, which will come to pass without much
change, after which you will fade into the
nothingness which you lived. If that's how you
like it, that's that. If not, change your
responses to things and maybe the world will
change with you.
Where do you belong?(ANIME IMAGES)
brought to you by Quizilla
ok....you dont have to bother reading this all..i only read the first couple of sentences then got bored...basically i'm a dark angel and that's all you need to know...but you prob knew that already...
I'll bet you expected this answer. You already knew
you were a DARK ANGELIC, didn't you? You
are similar to a demon but slightly different
in that you don't revel in evil...you revel in
pleasure. Your wings resemble an angel's but if
that's so then you are a Fallen Angel - your
love of sin caused you to be cast from the
Heavens. They are black as raven wings and are
nearly as dark as your desires. You are
faithless and love it - you believe there is no
Judgement Day to fear and so you can do what
you want! You have a refined concept of what is
sexy and a slightly chaotic sense of 'fun.' In
fact, you love chaos and view much of what you
do as a game. You are typically attracted to
those that will challenge your mind, power, and
wit...and are 'dangerous' people like you. It's
not unlikely that you are bisexual or at least
open to the concept, because you seek
excitement and passion everywhere and in
everyone. Chances are you have a special talent
for magick - you're a powerful being and you
know what you want. Like a Serpent of Eden you
like to try your powers of seduction and
manipulation, though your intent is rarely to
cause harm. You have a deep, dark sense of art
and/or poetry, because your mind is a deep,
dark place. While typically smirking, amused,
and sarcastic, you are capable of severe
revenge and a passion and intensity unrivaled
by any other. In your eyes life is for
enjoyment and pleasure - nothing else. If
you're not having fun in your own twisted way,
you're not happy. You are easily bored with the
vast majority of people. You are most likely
drawn towards the Gothic subculture and
probably adore Goth music, art, and style. Many
people look down on your seemingly careless
lifestyle and may even consider you 'slutty'.
Not true. You just know you're sexy and you're
damn proud of it. Dark Angels have an outlook
most like Satanists - loving sin and looking to
none but themselves for power. Congratulations!
You're my kindred spirit. As far as I'm
concerned - you know what life is REALLY about.
Have fun...Muahaha.
*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla
Apparently i'm like st peter....nope...i have no idea either..
You are Form 5, Dragon: The Weaver.
"And The Dragon seperated the virtuous from
the sinful. He tore his eyes from his sockets
and used them to peer into the souls of those
on trial to make a judgement. He knew that
with endless knowledge came endless
responsibility."
Some examples of the Dragon Form are Athena
(Greek), St. Peter (Christian), and Surya
(Indian).
The Dragon is associated with the concept of
intelligence, the number 5, and the element of
wood.
His sign is the crescent moon.
As a member of Form 5, you are an intelligent and
wise individual. You weigh options by looking
at how logical they are and you know that while
there may not always be a right or wrong
choice, there is always a logical one. People
may say you are too indecisive, but it's only
because you want to do what's right. Dragons
are the best friends to have because they're
willing to learn.
Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
this is for John too...sorry..
I also apparently belong in an anime i've never heard of..all the other ones in the quiz i'd heard of but i had to get this one...
!!!!!!!!!WHAT ANIME R U FROM!!!!!!!!!!
brought to you by Quizilla
What Finding Nemo Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
should that be mad skillz? :p
ps. I'm always right ;)
Anyway..that's about it from Ig's LJ...oh...almost forgot...I got an A for my english retake..went up an entire grade...last time was 3 off an A, this time was 3 off an A*! How cool is that? and i didn't even revise..weird
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| Haven't posted for ages...oh well...update on my life in general really |
[25 Feb 2004|09:17pm] |
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mood |
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 excited |
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well...most of half term was spent with John...not entierly sure whether I mentioned him before cept i know he got Bono on a quizilla thing and i posted that a while ago...anyway....today I got published in the Guardian!! how cool is that? not that anyone'll reply...but it's just a rhetorical question to liven up this entry with different english techniques...now that i'm a published writer and all ;)
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| john is....*drum roll*.... |
[30 Dec 2003|06:08pm] |
You're most like Paul Hewson, U2's sunglasses-
wearing, drop-dead sexy singer. You don't mind
people that talk a lot, and you like it when
your friends have a good sense of what's going
on in the world. You're full of life and
certainly not afraid of cameras. BONO IS HOT :B
Which member of U2 are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
could never see that one coming :p
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[27 Dec 2003|12:14am] |
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mood |
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 irritated |
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music |
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Everybody Hurts-REM (the REM thing again) |
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ok...if this works it'll be a miracle since i made up the iframe code...:p
the goth quote generator stopped working when they stopped updating the site so i put their other goth quote generator into an ifram (at least that's what i hope i did...)
*edit*
ok...it didn;t work...i'm choosing to assume that LJ don;t like iframes...hey...not like anyone else does...so here's a link... http://www.brunching.com/cgi/gothquote.cgi?
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[26 Dec 2003|01:47am] |
Should prob say that christmas sucks...besides the REM and U2 pressies and a few books that i wanted....today was one of the worst days of this week so far...although tomorrow with the grandparents is liable to be worse...i;m not even gonna bother saying anything bout grandad...he's just the most everything-ist bastard in the world...or at least in the people i know in the world...which is quite a few i guess...but nowhere near the entire world! :p
Anyway...spent bout an hour playing stupid GC games...why do they make sequels that are worse than the originals...or am i the only person who prefers the N64 mario karts to "double dash"...i mean...did they figure people are gettig more stupid and can only therefore handle either driving or shooting at once...what's up with that? oh well...i'll live with it....i still have a sega megadrive with some of the best console games (imo) so fuck all you people with xboxes and PS2s and shit....original's are generally the best...note the "geberally" rather than "always"...there's this one game called michael Jackson's moonwalk or something...yeah...less said bout that the better i think...
wow...this is longer than any of my actual journal entries..maybe i should make it an update rather than a reply...yeah...think i will...*copies and pastes*
ahh...that's better...anyway...should probably go to bed now...don't even know why i'm up this late...not like John's online or anything...
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